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It's a cruel, cruel world baby.

So I'm fed up with my snake not eating.  I just want to shake this legless creature and tell her she's starving and all she has to do is open her mouth.  So I went to a RT boa forum and posted my problems and asked for help.  Unfortunately out of the 1000's of members ... 2 responded.  Told me I was doing everything right and sometimes it just happens.  Thanks guys, appreciate the tips.  *Eye roll.*

So I had read somewhere before that with snakes that won't eat sometimes buying live and stunning them will stimulate the "animal" inside them and they will finally eat.  I'm very uneasy about buying live and stunning it (basically you crack it on a hard object to ensure that it won't fight back).  I've owned and worked with snakes for about 6 years now and I couldn't even gas the mice at the zoo I worked at.  I just ... don't like the idea. 

So, out of desperation, I went to Petsmart to get a live pinkie.  That way I wouldn't have stun it but it would still wiggle around.  Well, I haven't bought anything live from a pet store for about 3 or 4 years so I thought I'd ask the cashier if they still sold live pinkies.  It went something like this...
"OMG, what?  NO WAY.  WHY would you want a baby mouse?  Gross..."
"Um, well.  I have a snake that is starving and ..."
"OMG!  YOU were going to feed it to a SNAKE?  HOW CRUEL ARE YOU.  OMG.  NO, we don't sell LIVE pinkies for food."

Wow.  She went valley girl crazy on me.  I did all I could to not smile and bash her teeth it.  So I ended up just buying another box of frozen pinkies and some dog treats.  Great.
So now I'm soaking one in a glass of beef broth.  I'm so out of ideas at this point.  Sigh.

So I'm off to try this new trick.  And cut the grass. 


Another day, another delay...

So I decided to give my surgeon's office a call to see what kind of status all my stuff was in.  Apparently they've received everything except for the letter from my PCP signing off that I was a good candidate and my weight history and all that long process stuff.  So that kind of concerned me... I mean, my doctor wasn't SUPER thrilled to say I should get the surgery anyhow.  She wasn't against it but she wasn't jumping up and down and telling me it was the best decision of my life.

First off, this is my husband's doctor who I only see when he forces me to get a check up. (Okay, it's not that drastic, but you get the point...) so she doesn't know me all THAT well.  I think I've seen her 3 or 4 times before this whole surgery deal.  So she told me I should just eat smaller portions and work out just a little more and I probably wouldn't need the surgery.  At that point I went into a rant about all my trials and tribulations with the magical "eating less/working out more" scenario.  You know where it's gotten me?  26-years-old and 235lbs, that's where.  

Then she proceeds to tell me this wonderful and magical story about a girl "just my age" who weight 307lbs and just did a little more work on herself and has lost 80lbs without surgery or pills.  Which is wonderful.  Great.  Good for her.  
Then I tell her a story about when I was living in Florida when I was 23 and went from 220lbs to 160lbs in four months because I worked in a zoo and had no money for a food.  I felt great!  160lbs was freaking amazing to me.  So what happened?  I was done with school and moved home.  Slowly those pounds crept back on until ... well, today.
So anyway, like I said... she wasn't jumping up and down for the surgery but she did say if it's what I decided I wanted to do, she would pass along any of my information that was needed.

Thanks, doc, but you're holding up progress!

Oh, and Ruby still refuses to eat.  So my choices are these:
  1. Freshly killed,
  2. Force Fed
  3. Let her suffer a horrible death through starvation (that'll teach her!)
So obviously #3 is not really an option (shame on you for believing me!) so tomorrow I shall venture to the pet store for a live pinkie.  I'm starting small!  I enjoy the company of pet snakes because never have I had one that won't eat thawed mice.  Bah!  Ruby!  You beautiful pain in my ass....

Oh, and I watched the Expendables again today.  Man do I love me some Stallone!  Life should be one big Stallone movie.



Well, I had to break down and buy some new shorts for my trip to Mexico because I really don't fit comfortably in the clothes I have currently.  It really breaks my heart that my eating has gotten so out of control.  This surgery will definitely be a blessing to me and my family but that's another long, fat-filled month (or more!) away!

Ah well.  I've been on vacation fat before ... what's one more?

Another thing that bums me out ... I pay all this money for vacations each year and I never really, TRULY enjoy them because I feel like people are staring at me... or I'm going sit in a chair and break it ... or I'm gonna be too big to do something everyone else wants to do.
You'd think after all this time I would have got a handle on myself and figured out what I need to do.

End rant.

On the plus side ... I've cleaned out my MP3 player and added 5 gigs of new music.  So that has me pumped to ... get into my car and drive somewhere.  :]

And I'm really sick of having heart burn after everything I put in my mouth, even water.

Bitch, bitch, bitch...



Oh the frustrations of being a parent....

...to a small snake that won't eat.  Sigh.

Okay, so I know this isn't like being a *real* parent, but frustrating all the same.  It's been at least two weeks since little Ruby has eaten.  She's lost 6g since August 20th!  Bah!  I have her currently in a tub with the thawed food in a dark place in hopes that she eats.  I reeeeally don't want to have to start force feeding.  D:

Other than that, things are a bit uneventful.

  • The surgeon called mid-last week to inform me she has received all the paperwork from my tests and needs to send a form for my PCP to fill out.  So nothing new there.
  • I start my new job on Thursday.  Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited.  Of course not.  This is not my dream job but I've been laid off since mid June and I really need some money coming in.  Who gets excited about working?  :p
  • Vacation is less than a month away... which means my surgery is getting closer as well!  ...is it sad that I'm more excited to get the vacation over with so I can have this surgery and really get started with my new life?  Yes, it's sad.
All right, that's it for my updates.  Off to check on Ruby...


The new dawn approaches...

Okay, so I caved.  Yes, yes... all my fellow bloggers out there, I've finally done it.  I've created my first blog.  

I've recently been a little addicted to reading the blogs of people that have been through the Lap Band surgery because I'm in the middle of the approval process myself.  So I thought to myself... "What the hell?  I have a grand ol' life that I want to share with the world!"  Not really.  Basically I want to document what I'm going through in the process of getting this surgery, and the aftermath, so I can look back in a year or two and remember the beginning stages.  So this blog will probably be pretty unbearable for most to read.

So if anyone IS reading this, other than myself, I'll include a very small background bio on myself.
I'm 26-year-old, I have been fat (not overweight but fat) my entire life.  My highest weight ever was 250lbs when I got married in 2008 and my lowest weight was 160lbs in 2005 when I came back home from college.  I tend to hover right around 220-230 now-a-days.  It's always been an issue to my self-esteem but I've just dealt with it.  I've been blessed to be loved by some very wonderful people who don't mind being around the Blob.

And that's me in a nutshell.  So far I've been through all the tests, seminars, diets, evaluations, and signed all the papers in the process of getting the Lap Band surgery.  I'm now just waiting on my doctor to sign off on it and the insurance to approve it.  This is a year in the making and I can't wait for it to end (in surgery!)

So that's it for now.  I have things to tend to...