All work and no play makes Amy a dull girl.

So I've been taking people's crappy shifts left and right to try and make up some hours.  Apparently there was a mix up with my availablity and my manager thought I only wanted 20 hours?  Um, no.  I'll take 80 if you have them!  So hopefully within a few weeks that'll be all sorted out.

Other than work ... not much else is going on.  I'm on to soft foods (hooray!) and couldn't be happier.  I missed chewing my food.  :D  I have had zero restriction since surgery and am constantly hungry.  So I entered bandster hell as soon as I got home from the hospital.  Wonderful.  :P  But I use a bodybugg so I try to keep everything under control and logged.  On a typical day, I burn between 2800-3000 without going to a gym.  So once I do start going (any day now, I promise...) I'll probably need to bump up my calories to 1200.  Now I'm trying to stay around 800-1000 max.

And surprise, surprise the weight isn't just melting off me!  Lol.  But who can complain about 21 lbs in under 4 weeks?  Not me!  I know as soon as I hit the gym I'll probably see better numbers.

Until next time!

Happy Halloween!!

No news is good news?

So I haven't been around as much as last month .. but mainly because there's nothing of substance to write about.  Not that my life before was a party, but you know how it goes.

I'm fully back to normal feeling being just one day shy of 3 weeks post op.  I've been eating mushie food and can't wait to progress to other stuff!  I was 220.6 this morning which puts me at 21 lbs in a month.  Can't complain to much about that!

Work is work.  I haven't been getting stable hours but I've been picking up days here and there from other people to try and bump up my tiny amount of hours they give me.  They had me scheduled 11 hours next week.  11!  That's two 6 hour days!  That's ridiculous.  I told one of the managers that it wasn't going to be worth my while just to work 10-11 hours a week.  I need the money and would have to look elsewhere if they couldn't help me out.  He said he'd "try" and one of the kids gave me two of her 9 hour days because she doesn't need the money and was happy to not have to work.  Bless her!

Jeff is looking rough these days.  He was finally diagnosed with Non-Hodgekins (sp?) lymphoma.  They believe it's in an early stage but they found spots in his bone marrow and near his spinal chord.  He's supposed to start chemo tomorrow so keep him in your thoughts and prayers!  Poor guy.

And that's that.  I need to eat some breakfast and head off to another fun day at work.  :P

Still recovering.

I'm here and still recovering... slowly.  Apparently I'm not a quick and easy one, unfortunately.  I still have this strange, annoying gas bubble feeling that travels from the bottom of my esophagus up to the top of my throat and just stays there.  I can't burp it out.  Ouchie.

Other than the gas pain, I feel pretty darn good.  I cheated and moved onto full liquids a couple of days before I was supposed to.  :p  But I kept it reasonable and watered everything down to a runny state.  I just couldn't take the broth anymore!  And I boycott jell-o for the rest of my life.

So I haven't felt like being on the computer much.  I'm getting in my daily walking and then some with my shop-aholic husband.  :D  And my work screwed me over and didn't schedule me until NEXT weekend.  So I'll be working the next three weekends in a row only.  Yeah, only.  I just went from part time to no time.  Thanks guys.  But, on the bright side, it gives me almost 2 weeks to recover before I have to be on my feet for 9 hours a day.  I guess that's a good thing.  :]

So I'm off to read some and then start some light housework.  I hope everyone is doing well in bandland!

I'm back and I'm banded!

So I made it through!  Yay!  I've been home since yesterday afternoon but I didn't feel like getting on the computer.

I am one that, unfortunately, is blessed to suffer with gas pains.  Ouch.  The first day I didn't have much and I thought I was gonna sail right through.  Then yesterday they started.  And it hurt.  A lot.  So far I haven't had too much since about 6am this morning but I can still feel it bubbling around in me.  Weird.  :p

Surgery itself wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, by far.  I was so worked up and scared that morning.  You always hear such horror stories about people waking up in the middle of surgery or feeling everything but are paralyzed... things like that.  But thank God nothing like that happened to me.  :D

So I'm still a little sore... okay, a lot sore.  But I'm trying to do everything I know I should.  Lots of water.  Lots of walking.  And lots of rest.  The rest part is where I'm failing on but I'll try and work on that tomorrow.  I wanna enjoy my time off work.  :D

When drinking my liquids, I don't know if I've ever felt full yet.  Since I've been suffering with gas pains from my gut to my mid-back, to my lower shoulders, I still don't know what that new fullness feels like... which is kind of a bummer but I'll get there.  

All right, enough of my rambling.  I'll be back to write when I'm a little less gassy.  :p

8 hours and counting...

Technically a little less, but I'll allow for some delays. 

I'm not as nervous as I'd thought I would be.  I'm trying not to work myself sick over it because I am very, very scared.  The thought of being put to sleep chemically is just very frightening to me.  I know it's very common and very routine but ... I don't know.  I just have a fear of dying and leaving my family.  Wussy, I know!  But it's always in the back of my mind.

I'm sure I'll be a nervous wreck when they wheel me into the OR.  I'm hoping and praying for that miracle relaxant that I read about on the forums.  :]  It would be much appreciated.

So I have to be at the hospital at 530, which means I'll be getting up at 4.  It's gonna be a looong day.  But boy am I excited.

Anyway, wish me luck guys!  (And by guys, I mean Chrissy.  Because you're awesome and always are so nice and comforting.  :D)

I hope to be writing in a few days after I cross over into band land!!

Goodnight fat Amy!

End of liquid week!

So this week has come and gone rather quickly and it was surprisingly painless.  Sure I had hunger pangs that were annoying and painful but they eventually subsided and it wasn't on my mind.  I can't say I was 100% perfect.  I was until Saturday when everyone came in with pizzas and hot wings and all the delicious things I love.  So I had my husband buy me 1 sleeve of saltine crackers.  My surgeon's team had told my husband last year when he was doing a 14 day liquid diet for his bypass that if he freaked out and HAD to eat something, he could eat a FEW saltines.  So I devoured 1/2 the sleeve.  Oh well.  It was like a freakin' steak dinner.  I did so well all week I'm not really worried about it, considering most people's pre-op diets consist of solid food.  Lucky people...

So today is day #7 and in less than 21 hours I will be banded.  I'm so happy and excited and a baby bit nervous.  I'm sure the nervous and doubting will come when they wheel me into the OR.  But I'm ready.

On a more depressing note... my husband's cousin, whom has lived with us for around 6 years and we're all extremely close, was diagnosed with lymphoma.  We're not sure which kind, but all kinds are bad enough.  He's only 37 and he may not see 40.  That depresses me a lot.  But I'm going to look on the bright side, say my prayers, and be there for him when he needs me.  Plus, this gives me an exciting excuse to look for lymphoma walks and runs to participate in!  Ah, silver lining.

So today is cleaning day.  Blegh.  I was lazy all week and did nothing but work so today I make up for it.

OH.  And my scale said 228.6 this morning.  That's over 13 lbs lost in 7 days!  I'm sure it's going to fluctuate greatly (mostly up, probably) this next week, but I'll take it!!

My next post will (hopefully) be the newly banded me.  So take care anyone reading and God bless!!

Day #3.

So day three of my clear liquid/sugar free diet is going pretty well.  Honestly I think it's because I've been off of work these last three days so tomorrow will be the real test.  I don't have any headaches or severe fatigue or anything so I'm very thankful for that.  But then again, I haven't really been on my feet and running around like I will be at work tomorrow.

My date is quickly approaching!  I'm getting more excited by the day... and a little more nervous too.  I'm more nervous about the day or two after surgery than the surgery itself.  I also worry that a week isn't going to be long enough off of work since I'm on my feet 8+ hours a day, running around.  But we'll see, won't we?

Well I'm off to have a delicious lunch of chicken broth... again... D:

I AM alive!

Yes, yes.  I am alive.  I just haven't had a lot of time to do any updates.

Well, I was supposed to go to Mexico on September 24th but there was a nice tropical storm that squashed those plans.  :(  So we ended up driving down to Orlando and hung out there.  We went to Discovery Cove (awesome!!), Sea World, and Aquatica.  We did a lot of shopping and dinner shows and just seeing the general sites... although my husband and I have been to Orlando countless times, we wanted to make the best of it.  And we did.  Got some nice pictures too!

So I came home Saturday and worked Sunday.  I ate my last meal and started my 7 day liquid diet yesterday (Monday).  It wasn't TOO bad the first day.  Today is day 2 and I go in for all my pre-op testing today.  I was instructed not to eat or drink anything after midnight last night until all my testing is done.  Bah!  I'm thirsty!!  I filled up my dogs' water bowl and thought how tasty it looked.  :}

So that's about all there is to what's been going on.  I work all day Thursday and Saturday, right at the height of my liquid diet so that should be really pleasant.  :p

6 days to go!

Vacation! ...tomorrow.

So today is my last day of work for over a week!  Woo!  And I got paid today!  Woo!

Work has been going well.  I'm getting the hang of things and business is very slow but they tell me that when Christmas comes around, there will be lines out the door.  So I'm not looking forward to that.

And tomorrow morning I leave for Mexico.  And I'm scared.  I have an awful phobia of falling to my death so plane rides are pretty horrible to me.  And I have to fly from St. Louis to Dallas and then from Dallas to Cancun.  :(  Ah well.  I have my Bible!!

And when I get back from Mexico I will have 1 day before I start my 7 day liquid diet.  I'm on my way to Band Land!

So to anyone reading out there (I'm sorry!) and have a safe next week!  I'll be back!

It's getting closer!

As the days go on, my surgery date (and liquid diet date D:) approach!

I started my first day of real work yesterday.  It was nuts.  Apparently waterfowl hunting season just started and the store was bananas.  So I was just kind of thrown in the mix... but I did okay.  For the most part I worked at this nut cart in the front foyer.  Basically I made cinnamon and sugar coated pecans, cashews, and almonds.  Relatively easy!

Tomorrow is my first full 8 hour day so ... I'm a bit more nervous.  The biggest difference between this job and my job at Lowe's over the summer is that at Cabela's... there is no one right there if you need help.  At Lowe's I always felt safe because the lead cashier was always right behind me or just a quick phone call away.  Here ... not so much.  They have cash leads but there's like 1 or 2 to cover an entire store, so they're not going to come running when you have a question.  And that makes me a little nervous.

Anyhoo... I leave for Mexico in FIVE days.  :]  And my liquid diet starts two weeks from today and surgery is three weeks from day!  Wow... three weeks.  That's insane.  I can't wait!!

So Ben and I got new phones over the weekend.  We couldn't really afford them but ... we can never afford the stuff we buy.  Gooo debt!  We both got the Samsung Fascinate.  They are AWESOME.  This is my first "smart phone" so I'm just obsessed with the apps!  Thank goodness most of them are free!!  :D

So that's about it.  I'm off today and doing all the laundry and house cleaning before our trip on Saturday.  Nothing exciting, as per usual.  :]

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Busy, busy!

So the last couple of days have been a little hectic.  I'm trying to get everything together for next weekend (Mexico!) and it's not working out so smoothly!

And my World of Warcraft account has been hacked.  Again.  This is the second time this month.  I've logged on maybe three times in two months, so I don't know what the deal is but it's very irritating.  So I've downloaded a slew of anti-malware and anti-viruses to try and get the keylogger but I'm not having much luck.  So I'm a bit stalled on that for the moment.

I finally got all the wood work painted in the hallway and two doors... so yay for that.

Today is my first full day at work... although it's still all training... it's still 8 hours!  And I was told I was going to get paid by now... but there's nothing in my account which I'm going to ask about today.  Believe that.  I was my 2.5 hours of training money!

Ruby still hasn't ate.  That's that.

Ben and I are looking into new phones.  I'm thinking the Samsung Fascinate.  Anyone have that?  I really want the Droid but I just don't have the money... and the Fascinates are buy one, get one free.  (Actually, buy one for $200, you get the other one for $200 and you get $200 in mail in rebates.)  I sure do hate mail in rebates.  

Well I guess that's it for now.  Take care blogworld!

Big girl Monday.

So today I feel accomplished.  

I got my hep A shot taken care of for work (after waiting 90 minutes in a scary, bad neighborhood clinic) and got my pre-op day requested off, which is something I was worried about doing.  

And last night I braved my first office meeting/party relatively well.  I showed up and kind of kept to myself then everyone was shuffling here and there and I was left alone and panicky.  So the HR woman told me that "Alan had everyone in the back conference area" (thanks Abby...) so I went to the conference area where I had my orientation.  Not the right place.  Then I saw people heading for the loading area... not the right place.

So I kind of just wandered around the empty store until I saw some people and bit the bullet and asked them where I was supposed to go.  So I went with them to the "softlines" conference area and squeezed my big butt into a spot between two people.  Did I say spot?  I mean CRACK between two people.  Thanks guys.

So after that uncomfortable 15 minutes we were all corralled back outside.  I sat alone at a picnic table (because the next hour was dedicated to everyone eating BBQ and socializing) and just texted people on my phone.  Now remember ... I have YET to work a day at this store... so I literally have never seen any of these people.  Thank God this sweet girl named Sarah came over and introduced herself.  She saved me for the rest of the night.  Turns out she was hired one week before me and she works in the same department as me.  AND she applied to Lowe's hardware the same time I had this passed May... and they called and told her they were "absolutely not interested" in her application.  Harsh.  So I chatted with her until 9pm and everyone was released.  (After the HR manager kissed a piglet.  Yeah, high class people.)

So this weekend was dreaded but it turned out okay.  My first day of work is Wednesday so I just need to get my wrist band (to cover my tattoo) and I'm set!!  

Until next time world!

Busy, busy weekend.

So after the anger subsided on Friday, things got a little better but no less stressful.

Around 2pm, the surgeon's office called and told me I was approved for surgery.  Hot dog!!  So I picked a date of October 11th, which means I start my clear liquid diet on October 4th... which is two days after I get back from a week in Mexico.  That's one hell of a last hoorah!

So instantly after I hung up the phone, my case worker lady from the insurance calls and tells me I was approved.  She was a little ... odd.  I had talked to her that previous Wednesday and she was telling me she had talked to me like two weeks before... which isn't the case.  Anyway, she said I was approved as well and should expect a call from my surgeons office sometime soon.  Right.  So that was awesome.

Here comes the stressful part.  I started a job like a week ago.  I already had to ask off a week for my "unavoidable out-of-town business" and now I had to ask for ANOTHER week off right after I got back.  I don't know if that bugs companies or is a pain in the ass to have to schedule around things like that or if they simply just don't schedule me, I'm not sure. I know they were looking to hire like 150 people for the holidays so I should be fine.  I know I sounded like I had just killed someone on the phone but the HR woman assured me it was gonna be okay, even though she did have a twinge of annoyance in her voice.  Little did I know I would need ANOTHER day off for all day pre-op testing (thanks for not mentioning that, surgeons office!) so tonight when I go to my mandatory meeting, I will try and sneak a peek at the schedule to see if it's up there for that week.  Pray that it isn't so when I go in there tomorrow morning I can request that off as well.  They must love me over there.

Honestly I'm a little torn about the situation.  I wouldn't mind working there at all.  It seems like once I get the hang of it, it would be a nice little job for the holidays.  I know my husband is happy to see me bring in some money... and my parents are happy for me... but I wish I wouldn't have gotten it now.  I just want to focus on getting this surgery and healing at my own pace and all that jazz.  I guess I'm just a little nervous because this is all new territory for me.  New job.  A surgery.  Weight loss.  Haven't had too much experience with any of those things!

 Okay, now I'm just rambling.  I'm going to attempt to feed Ruby again today.  I think this is her 1 month anniversary of purchase and is still refusing food.  

OH.  And I got my ears stretched to where I want them to be (0g/8mm)!  So yay for me and no more painful stretchings!

Just a quick vent...

So I am enraged right now. 

My mother was on her way to my house to help me paint some woodwork.  She's not a big fan of driving on the highway by herself.  (She's 62 with anxiety issues) But she did anyway to come help me because she's awesome.

Some ASSHOLE hits her on the highway.  Completely just merges into her lane while she's there.  So they pull over and he says there's a commuter lot up at the next exit where they can exchange info.  My poor, trusting mother.  She said he got off the highway and just kept making turn after turn after turn finally resulting in him just speeding away.

I am fucking PISSED.  No one screws over my mom.  No one.  Probably some uninsured jackass too scared to be responsible for his own mistake.

I really want to get in my car and pound the shit out of anyone with a maroon truck.

No, of course she didn't get the license plate.  She's a sweet, old lady who didn't think someone would screw her like that.

What a mess.  Gah, my blood pressure is probably through the roof...............

Just some bacon bits.

Just a few updates to keep mah blog current.

Ruby ... still not eating.  I've tried everything I can think of or research about and nothing is working.  It's very sad.

The surgeon's office forgot to call and tell me they finally got all my information from my PCP and had sent it off to the insurance company.  The way I found out was the the case worker Mary T. called me yesterday for some information.  Pretty much just telling me that my insurance offers neat stuff on their website.  Wonderful.  So now we're all waiting on my surgeon to call Mary T. back with the rest of my stuff.  Then they can review the information and come to a consensus.

My vacation is quickly approaching and I'm so not feeling it.  I know, how lame is that?  But I'm back up right near my highest weight ever and I just don't feel like getting crammed into a small airplane seat (four times, mind you.) and then walk for hours and hours every day and put on a swimsuit.  Bah.  Just bah!

I'm sure once I'm down there... everything will be fine.  The food and drinks are all included so I'll just drink my fat sorrows away!  ;]  Which was my original decline back into fatness.  When I went to Mexico in May, I weighed 205ish.  I came back 215ish.  And now I'm 240ish.  Darn those delicious Mexican drinks!

I haven't decided what I'm going to do today.  It's only supposed to be a high of 70F today (wow!!!!) and dreary ... so my kind of day!  Maybe I'll do some laundry... and some painting...

I'm not sure.  But either way, I appreciate I'm around and alive for this day!  Thanks, God!!

Have a great day anyone reading!!

What are these? Gold bars?

No, actually they're Ziploc bags full of quarters.  How could you mistake silver-colored quarters for gold bars?  Someone needs to fire this guy.  He works at a bank for crying out loud!

Anyway, I lugged all 6 bags of "gold bars" *eye roll* to the bank to throw in their little coiny machine.  It all worth it in the end!  Mom and I ended up getting $3100 for all the quarters.  Woo!  Bill money!

AND she finally got her refund check from the nursing home my grandma was staying at before she passed away.  She was only supposed to get $2700 back because she was still alive until the 5th of the month but they sent her the whole $5850 back.  Go figure!  So mom made an extra $6k this week.  How great is that?

Something that isn't so great is my work schedule.  I work 5 days in the next three weeks.  Yeah.  Apparently Cabela's training manager just went on vacation so no one is there to train us newbies.  So I work next Wednesday for four hours, then Sunday for 2 hours, then the following Wednesday for six hours, then finally the next Saturday (18th) for eight hours.  I was hoping to get a paycheck or two before my trip at the end of this month but nope.  I'll get paid next Friday for 3.5 hours of orientation.  Hot dog!

But at least I have a job.  Finally.  And I can really see myself enjoying it.  I haven't worked in my department (obviously) so I can't say for sure how awful or great it would be ... but it seems decent.  The place is pretty big and I have a feeling I can get myself lost in it fairly easy.  On the plus side, it's in the Mills mall which is exactly 1 mile around... so on lunch breaks (60min) I can walk a lap or two around the mall whilst window shopping.  Woo!

Well that's about all the news I've got today.  It's sunny and 77 freaking degrees outside.  BEAUTIFUL. 

Makin' it rain!

So I ventured to my parents' house today to help my mom unbox all her quarters.  Basically, in 1999, when the government was going to start producing all these state quarters, she wanted to start collecting them.  So the years go by and finally this year, all 50 are released.  So now she has 4 whole coin books filled with mint, uncirculated quarters and along with that ... about 150 boxes of unopened bags of quarters.  Yeah.  A lot of freaking coins.  And some bags had been opened previously for one reason or another so we pretty much just opened all the boxes, cut open all the bags, and poured all the quarters into ziplocs.  So now on Friday, we get to go to the bank and use that little coin machine with $3,000 worth of quarters.  Oh joy!

Do you realize how much these bags weight?   I'd say they each weigh 20lbs, give or take.  And we have 12 bags.

Oh well.  It'll be fun to see $3,000 worth of quarters going into this machine, I guess.  

That's about all that's happened on this lazy, gloomy day.  Ruby still hasn't ate and I'm at a loss.  Sigh.

No new news from my doctor or the surgeon's office on my status about the surgery.  The vacation is quickly approaching.  I start work tomorrow night.  Um.. that's it!

It's a cruel, cruel world baby.

So I'm fed up with my snake not eating.  I just want to shake this legless creature and tell her she's starving and all she has to do is open her mouth.  So I went to a RT boa forum and posted my problems and asked for help.  Unfortunately out of the 1000's of members ... 2 responded.  Told me I was doing everything right and sometimes it just happens.  Thanks guys, appreciate the tips.  *Eye roll.*

So I had read somewhere before that with snakes that won't eat sometimes buying live and stunning them will stimulate the "animal" inside them and they will finally eat.  I'm very uneasy about buying live and stunning it (basically you crack it on a hard object to ensure that it won't fight back).  I've owned and worked with snakes for about 6 years now and I couldn't even gas the mice at the zoo I worked at.  I just ... don't like the idea. 

So, out of desperation, I went to Petsmart to get a live pinkie.  That way I wouldn't have stun it but it would still wiggle around.  Well, I haven't bought anything live from a pet store for about 3 or 4 years so I thought I'd ask the cashier if they still sold live pinkies.  It went something like this...

"OMG, what?  NO WAY.  WHY would you want a baby mouse?  Gross..."

"Um, well.  I have a snake that is starving and ..."
"OMG!  YOU were going to feed it to a SNAKE?  HOW CRUEL ARE YOU.  OMG.  NO, we don't sell LIVE pinkies for food."

Wow.  She went valley girl crazy on me.  I did all I could to not smile and bash her teeth it.  So I ended up just buying another box of frozen pinkies and some dog treats.  Great.

So now I'm soaking one in a glass of beef broth.  I'm so out of ideas at this point.  Sigh.

So I'm off to try this new trick.  And cut the grass. 

Another day, another delay...

So I decided to give my surgeon's office a call to see what kind of status all my stuff was in.  Apparently they've received everything except for the letter from my PCP signing off that I was a good candidate and my weight history and all that long process stuff.  So that kind of concerned me... I mean, my doctor wasn't SUPER thrilled to say I should get the surgery anyhow.  She wasn't against it but she wasn't jumping up and down and telling me it was the best decision of my life.

First off, this is my husband's doctor who I only see when he forces me to get a check up. (Okay, it's not that drastic, but you get the point...) so she doesn't know me all THAT well.  I think I've seen her 3 or 4 times before this whole surgery deal.  So she told me I should just eat smaller portions and work out just a little more and I probably wouldn't need the surgery.  At that point I went into a rant about all my trials and tribulations with the magical "eating less/working out more" scenario.  You know where it's gotten me?  26-years-old and 235lbs, that's where.  

Then she proceeds to tell me this wonderful and magical story about a girl "just my age" who weight 307lbs and just did a little more work on herself and has lost 80lbs without surgery or pills.  Which is wonderful.  Great.  Good for her.  

Then I tell her a story about when I was living in Florida when I was 23 and went from 220lbs to 160lbs in four months because I worked in a zoo and had no money for a food.  I felt great!  160lbs was freaking amazing to me.  So what happened?  I was done with school and moved home.  Slowly those pounds crept back on until ... well, today.

So anyway, like I said... she wasn't jumping up and down for the surgery but she did say if it's what I decided I wanted to do, she would pass along any of my information that was needed.

Thanks, doc, but you're holding up progress!

Oh, and Ruby still refuses to eat.  So my choices are these:

1. Freshly killed,
2. Force Fed
3. Let her suffer a horrible death through starvation (that'll teach her!)

So obviously #3 is not really an option (shame on you for believing me!) so tomorrow I shall venture to the pet store for a live pinkie.  I'm starting small!  I enjoy the company of pet snakes because never have I had one that won't eat thawed mice.  Bah!  Ruby!  You beautiful pain in my ass....

Oh, and I watched the Expendables again today.  Man do I love me some Stallone!  Life should be one big Stallone movie.

Sigh.

Well, I had to break down and buy some new shorts for my trip to Mexico because I really don't fit comfortably in the clothes I have currently.  It really breaks my heart that my eating has gotten so out of control.  This surgery will definitely be a blessing to me and my family but that's another long, fat-filled month (or more!) away!

Ah well.  I've been on vacation fat before ... what's one more?

Another thing that bums me out ... I pay all this money for vacations each year and I never really, TRULY enjoy them because I feel like people are staring at me... or I'm going sit in a chair and break it ... or I'm gonna be too big to do something everyone else wants to do.

You'd think after all this time I would have got a handle on myself and figured out what I need to do.

End rant.

On the plus side ... I've cleaned out my MP3 player and added 5 gigs of new music.  So that has me pumped to ... get into my car and drive somewhere.  :]

And I'm really sick of having heart burn after everything I put in my mouth, even water.

Bitch, bitch, bitch...

Goodnight.

Oh the frustrations of being a parent....

...to a small snake that won't eat.  Sigh.

Okay, so I know this isn't like being a *real* parent, but frustrating all the same.  It's been at least two weeks since little Ruby has eaten.  She's lost 6g since August 20th!  Bah!  I have her currently in a tub with the thawed food in a dark place in hopes that she eats.  I reeeeally don't want to have to start force feeding.  D:

Other than that, things are a bit uneventful.

• The surgeon called mid-last week to inform me she has received all the paperwork from my tests and needs to send a form for my PCP to fill out.  So nothing new there.
• I start my new job on Thursday.  Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited.  Of course not.  This is not my dream job but I've been laid off since mid June and I really need some money coming in.  Who gets excited about working?  :p
• Vacation is less than a month away... which means my surgery is getting closer as well!  ...is it sad that I'm more excited to get the vacation over with so I can have this surgery and really get started with my new life?  Yes, it's sad.

All right, that's it for my updates.  Off to check on Ruby...

The new dawn approaches...

Okay, so I caved.  Yes, yes... all my fellow bloggers out there, I've finally done it.  I've created my first blog.  

I've recently been a little addicted to reading the blogs of people that have been through the Lap Band surgery because I'm in the middle of the approval process myself.  So I thought to myself... "What the hell?  I have a grand ol' life that I want to share with the world!"  Not really.  Basically I want to document what I'm going through in the process of getting this surgery, and the aftermath, so I can look back in a year or two and remember the beginning stages.  So this blog will probably be pretty unbearable for most to read.

So if anyone IS reading this, other than myself, I'll include a very small background bio on myself.

I'm 26-year-old, I have been fat (not overweight but fat) my entire life.  My highest weight ever was 250lbs when I got married in 2008 and my lowest weight was 160lbs in 2005 when I came back home from college.  I tend to hover right around 220-230 now-a-days.  It's always been an issue to my self-esteem but I've just dealt with it.  I've been blessed to be loved by some very wonderful people who don't mind being around the Blob.

And that's me in a nutshell.  So far I've been through all the tests, seminars, diets, evaluations, and signed all the papers in the process of getting the Lap Band surgery.  I'm now just waiting on my doctor to sign off on it and the insurance to approve it.  This is a year in the making and I can't wait for it to end (in surgery!)

So that's it for now.  I have things to tend to...

Ta!